The Power of Lingerie
I love lingerie, so you know that I’ve been highly anticipating the release of Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty. The online exclusive lingerie and sleep collection was released at 12:00 am EST and by 12:01 am EST there was a one hour waiting time before you could even enter the site to shop. Talk about waiting for somebody at the door! I’ve been very excited about Savage since it was first announced, and my excitement only skyrocketed after it was announced that bras would be produced up to a 44DD and underwear would go up to a 3x. The inclusivity, and affordability, that this collection offers has always been a top selling point for me. I’m ready ya’ll! I’ve been speaking with some of my fellow members of the Thick and Big Titty Committee about Savage, and while most of them are excited because they love Rihanna, none of them are really thinking about purchasing any goodies for themselves. When I asked them why, I got the same response over and over again: “I won’t get to wear it for anybody so what does it matter?”
Pause. Who said you had to wear lingerie for anybody but your damn self?! Is there some unwritten rule that lingerie must be worn in the presence of another person, and it simply can’t be for your own pleasure? Did I miss that somewhere? Listen, I wear lingerie because it empowers me. It makes me feel beautiful, and I love the way that I look while I’m wearing it. There are times where I absolutely hate my body. I may look into the mirror and hate what I see. I hit my yoga mat, walk every damn where, and I still feel like I haven't made any progress. Sometimes I research Brazilian butt lifts, turkey neck surgeries, and liposuction just so I have an idea of all of the options available to me because this body has to go. I'm being completely honest here. I love my body, but I would be a liar if I said that there weren't times, especially right before my menstruation cycle starts and none of my clothes fit, where I’m ready to say fuck it all and turn tricks to pay for a visit to Dr. Miami. When those times hit, I have found that lingerie is a helpful way to change my outlook on myself.
It all started when I ventured into an Adult store with a few friends almost three years ago. While there, I noticed that the shop sold custom corsets. I spoke with one of the associates there, who also happened to be the head designer, and she talked to me about body positivity in lingerie. She said that she only stocked the store with items that came from a 00 or AA to the biggest size that she could fine. She didn’t want anyone to feel excluded, and as someone who had only shopped at Victoria’s Secret or, if you’re super old school, Frederick’s of Hollywood, I was shocked. You mean, all of the wonderful things in that store came in my size? I didn’t plan on buying anything, but the woman talked me into trying on a corset. She laced me up, pulled the strings tight, and told me to look in the mirror. I could not believe that it was my body. The hourglass figure I’ve always had, even if it has been somewhat distorted by fat rolls, was accentuated. My breasts had been pushed up as high as they could go, and they looked like two delicious King’s Hawaiian rolls. The way that my body felt against the leather was sensual, and I couldn’t help but to twist and turn in the mirror. Needless to say, I walked home with that corset, and I’ve been back for others so often to the point where I know all of the women that work there on a first name basis.
From there, I decided to expand my horizons into underwear, garters, robes, and anything else that I could get my hands on. I found a lingerie boutique near me that’s owned and operated by a black woman, and to me, she is the best thing since sliced bread. She works with my body; choosing pieces that look good on my shape and colors that look beautiful on my skin. She never forces me into something with the intention of making a sell, and she always takes the time to ask me questions about how I feel in a piece. I started out only buying basic bras that could be worn under every day t-shirts and dresses, and I’ve expanded my collection to all kinds of lace and straps that seem to fit seamlessly with my personality. Looking into a mirror and seeing all of the mountains and valleys of my body being caressed by delicate eyelash lace, mesh, or in some case, colorful strings, makes me feel beautiful, sexy, and wanted. I hope that all women get the opportunity to experience that.
My sisters, please don’t be afraid to purchase some sexy nightwear for yourself. I challenge all of you to just purchase one piece, put it on at home, and look at yourself in the mirror. How do you feel? Every time I put on one of my pretty bras, I imagine that the feeling that comes over me is comparable to the one that Wonder Woman feels before she puts on her Amazon outfit. Or it could be similar to the one that Prince felt every time he put on Eyeliner before he went on stage. I feel empowered, unstoppable, and like a walking wet dream dammit! I want you to feel the same. If you’re struggling to love your body, I cannot recommend it enough. Buy yourself something nice and prance around your house in it for a while. If you’re extra cheeky, wear a sexy bra under a sheer top, a sun dress, or by itself under a blazer. You’ll see that you’re just as gorgeous, if not more, than some of the women that you see in the mainstream media. Putting it on will almost make you feel like an entirely new person, and it'll certainly unleash the hellcat that's been locked inside of you for so long.
You don’t have to jump into the deep in by purchasing any of the expensive items La Perla or Agent Provocateur. You can start with Hips and Curves or Bare Necessities. Both lines are affordable and can be considered a “gentle” introduction into lingerie. I also recommend The Lingerie Addict, which is a blog written by a black woman that always has the latest information (and savings) on lingerie and sleepwear. Her Favorite Boutiques section is a treasure trove of links to various lingerie collections, and it’ll be very helpful for those who aren’t quite sure what kind of lingerie matches their aesthetic and personality. If you’re in the DMV area, please hit me up, and I’ll introduce you to my people. Try it out ladies, and let us know how you feel. And remember, you don’t need to wear it for anybody but your damn self.