The94Percent

Welcome to The 94 Percent. 

We have a lot to say.

​“Insecure” Season 3, Episode 7 Recap: This is Sad

​“Insecure” Season 3, Episode 7 Recap: This is Sad

Drag me. Drag all of us. Get off your high horse and admit that you’ve lost it after being ghosted too.

The sadness opens up with Issa being panini pressed over Nanceford not contacting her in over a week. She’s pressed in the bed. She’s pressed in her unpacked and unfurnished living room. She’s pressed in the shower. It’s hard not to judge Issa, because I’ve been there before. The post-ghost will drive you mad. She might be more obsessed with the rejection than the guy. Issa, I need you to finish this business plan for Cocochella. Priority. FNGM!

Elsewhere, Molly and Andrew are finally on their date. As far as first dates go, this is pretty great. The conversation is good. The flirting is good. The food and drinks are good. I’m really enjoying Asian Bae right now. He’s fine, swagged out, and the actor who plays him is partnered with a Black woman in real life. Between this and “Crazy Rich Asians,” I need to broaden my horizons. The Saturday afternoon date is cut short because Molly needs to catch up on work (read: Molly has to unnecessarily overextend herself, so she can get back into the good graces of her superiors and colleagues). I’m not going to ride Molly too hard, because she set a date with Andrew for the next day. That’s a pro tip right there. Let him know you’re still interested.

Lawrence and Chad are returning from a game of pick up, and Chad is trying to hit the club later. Lawrence opts out. He’s got an appointment with the Lord! Lawrence is trying to fill this post-Chlamydia void he’s been experiencing by going to church and getting the good word. I ain’t mad at it, because he’s got to finish that round of antibiotics first anyway. Chad doesn’t get it but decides to tag along. He’s kind of a supportive friend. Church is just an opportunity to meet attractive women. I mean, aren’t churches across filled with more women than men? I guess it’s strategic.

It’s the next day, and Issa is still hot comb the night before Easter pressed. Nathan is still in the abyss of unresponsiveness, which causes Issa to go through a series of post-ghost behavior symptoms:

  • Post signs of bad bitchery and unbotheredness on Instagram.
  • Closely monitor engagements with the aforementioned posts.
  • Get distracted from everyday tasks like WORKING.
  • Question whether or not she accepted the bare minimum from him.
  • Question whether or not she slept with him too soon, despite being grown and having the right to express her sexual desires whenever she damn well pleases.
  • Question whether or not she talked about her childhood traumas too early.
  • Question whether or not she exposed her quirks too quickly.
  • Look through his social media feeds.
  • Refresh his social media feeds repeatedly, just in case he posted in the last 10 seconds.
  • Convince herself that he’s not that fine to begin with.
  • Jump to conclusions about the women on his social media.
  • Log into dummy Instagram accounts to lurk anonymously.

Lawrence and Chad are on time for the early service at a nondescript and non-denominational church with an overwhelming majority of young people in the congregation. This ain’t your grandmother’s church. Hell, this ain’t my church. I’m Catholic. Chad is looking for tail, and Lawrence is looking for direction. The pastor is the leather-wearing-in-the-summertime cokehead whose son is almost 13 in “Waiting to Exhale.” Pastor is trying really hard to connect with his millennial membership with a message we’ve seen in many mega church Facebook video snippets. Don’t worry about who “likes” you on the ‘gram, because Jesus loves you in real life!

You know how your friend joins you in an activity that’s meant to be beneficial for you but ends up benefiting from said activity more than you? Well, Chad is saved, y’all. He’s been delivered from cheating, double standards and irrational thought. Hallelujah!

Molly is not at anyone’s church. She’s at home when she gets word that Taurean won’t be in the office the next day for a presentation they’ve both been working very hard on. Taurean is pushing things back.

Back at NewLifeLA (Is this a franchise with other locations like NewLifeChi or NewLifeNOLA?), Lawrence is approached by Denise, the cute church member who was eyeing him during service. What better place to shoot your shot than in a parking lot ordained by God?

I need to know where Molly is getting these freakum, yet tasteful, dresses for work and these dates, because the hunter green one she’s wearing on her second date with Andrew is bomb.com. Like the first one, this date is also short-lived. Molly isn’t being a workaholic though, Andrew is being an ass. They recount their party drug-induced confessions from Coachella, and Andrew unintentionally comes for Molly’s affair with Alejandro sans the context that Dro was in an open marriage. It was nice knowing Andrew for these three episodes.

It’s Monday, and Issa is still first-day-of-school clothes, never-worn sneakers and modest gold chain laid out on the bed pressed. While waiting on the apartment complex’s plumber to finish plumbing, Issa decides that she needs answers about Nathan TODAY.

At work, Molly decides she’s not waiting for Taurean. She jumps at the opportunity to present to the partners solo under the guise that time is ticking on this employment law case. Girl.

Issa successfully recruits Molly to drive to Andrew and Nathan’s place with her, because that’s what ride or dies do. Oh, we’re stalking stalking now?! We’re actually too old for drive bys, and I wish Molly stopped her. Issa isn’t trying to rationalize her crazed behavior, or pajamas and undone hair at 6 p.m. to Molly, who’s being put in a very uncomfortable position since that second date with Andrew went down the drain.

Andrew doesn’t know what to think of Molly and Issa popping up at his doorstep with a box of local desserts. Despite Molly’s best attempt to play along for the sake of her friend, things are getting weird fast. Honestly, things been weird. Issa finds her way into the house by asking to use the bathroom. She bypasses the half bathroom in the foyer and heads straight upstairs. Issa finds her way to Nathan’s room. I know we all suspected that Nathan had warrants or a whole family back in Houston, but he’s actively living at that house. He really ghosted. He simply wasn’t feeling it anymore. Ouch.

Back down stairs, Molly is hoping cheese pies make Andrew forget about the previous night. He’s not having it and minces no words when asking why Molly’s really here. Molly forgives him for his off-color remarks. Sis, Andrew didn’t apologize for a damn thing. El oh el. Andrew isn’t with the bullshit. He doesn’t have time to deal with anyone who is “fucked up.” Yeah, it’s harsh and out of line, but Molly does have things to work on.

Back in Nanceford’s room, Issa is going through drawers and trying to figure out his laptop password when Molly snatches her up. It’s time for the madness to end. They both return to Issa’s car defeated. Molly does what a best friend really should do–remind her friend who the fuck she is! She gives Issa the reality check we all deserve after obsessing over a men WHO DON’T WANT US. Beloved, these men are looking out for self and not worried about our feelings. Stop giving them the energy, queens! Issa just can’t shake this rejection. She doesn’t know if she’ll meet another men who makes her feel desirable, pushes her outside of the box, and believes in her dreams. AND the sex was on point. I FEEL YOU ON THIS SO HARD! Molly identifies with the feeling too, as she’s at a loss for words and has no rebuttal.

Lawrence went back to church for a second time. He and church bae are getting post-service ice cream. This week’s sermon didn’t hit home for Lawrence either. Denise gets it. Salvation can’t be made in a microwave. It takes time, but can be facilitated with getting involved in ministry. Church bae is a member member of NewLifeLA, y’all. She’s in three different ministries, and it took a year to reach a cruising altitude on a flight to heaven.

It’s a new day, and Issa is pressed no more. Ok, she’s pressed for like 15 more minutes, but after that...fuck Nathan. Issa moves forward with her life. She’s got a business to pitch at a workshop for entrepreneurs.

Molly officially has zero allies at work. Taurean’s death stare and silent treatment indicates he didn’t like Molly proceeding with the presentation alone. Does she not know that you can’t steal a Morehouse man’s shine?

Guess who Issa runs into after the workshop? Lawrence. I mean, he suggested that she attend it. The two grab some coffee and just talk. Issa is having a hard time with being an entrepreneur, and Lawrence is struggling with diving in head first with the Lord. They comfort and reassure each other. How nice.

Where the hell is Nathan? What do you think of Issa and Lawrence’s whateveryouwanttocallit? Comment below!

Nappily Ever After: A Hair Journey

Nappily Ever After: A Hair Journey

“To all the boys I've loved before” is a rom-com you need to see

“To all the boys I've loved before” is a rom-com you need to see