I Don't Have To Make Lemonade
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” must be the most common, yet annoying proverbial sarcastically stated to disregard your woes and make do. Although stated from a good place, the FACTS are that not all lemonade is good. To be honest, sometimes it’s so tart that I would rather just drink water and go about my business. So, *insert Kanye shrug *, how am I supposed to get to making lemonade if I don’t have what I need to make that bomb lemonade I want to serve up?! Simply put, be encouraged to make your own way.
My sisters, it is not about making lemonade, it is about being self-compassionate. The realization that although we champion melanin poppin’ and black girls rock, we also have struggles, imperfections, and cannot be awesome all the time. There are moments that we must endure, sometimes unexpected, and sometimes with great struggle or disappointment. In those moments, it is not about making lemonade, but accepting the lemons that we have.
Give yourself permission to say, “HELL NAH!” Give yourself permission to say, “No, I’m NOT good”. Give yourself permission to say, “I’m really hurt.” We must validate how we really feel, not brush it under the rug because of some societal notion of being forced to make do. Despite popular belief, we are not unicorns. We are not some mystical creature galloping across rainbows. We are everyday people that feel the gamut of emotions, and un-rightfully put forth 110% for a small return . Be encouraged to know that is OUR shared experience, no lemonade necessary. Find that validation within yourself and our sisterhood.
After acknowledging the realness of your feelings, be called to action. Do not stay stuck within them. Use your discontent as fuel to propel yourself forward in the direction you choose. Make your own way, create your own path in line with your vision for yourself. Reset your expectations and standards with the knowledge you have gained about yourself and what you want and need from others. Use those guidelines to encourage and inspire you on your path to making this bomb lemonade, but it’s okay to prefer punch or tea.
So, be purposeful in whatever it is you do, not forced or strongly persuaded. Remember, not everyone’s lemonade is good, which should not even be your standard. To be honest, you should want to make that good good, but you are not even required to make lemonade if you do not want to. Make whatever it is that you feel best fits you and be proud to serve that up.