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16 Grown Woman Questions To Ask a Potential Bae

16 Grown Woman Questions To Ask a Potential Bae

Dating makes my edges itch. From the ‘wyd’ texts ten times a day to trying to get as many trappings of my awesomeness with the least amount of effort possible, all of it is exhausting. But I don’t want to die alone and it’s cold outside, so dating is par for the course. I’m looking for my gold trash bag.

At the top of my list of frustrations with dating is the childish and surface-level questioning in the beginning stages. You know how it goes: What’s your favorite color? What do you like to do for fun? Why are you single?

Boy, if you don’t go on somewhere. I’m 28.166667 years old, and Comcast wants its monies on the 27th. I don’t care what your favorite color is. Mine is gold by the way.


I’m in no rush to drive a minivan to soccer practices, but: 1) I’m not trying to be bored, and 2) I’m not trying to set myself up for shenanigans—whether that means I’m looking for something casual or serious.

Switch it up please.

I’m trying to find out the important things so I know if I need to kick you to the curb, keep you on hand just for fun, or take you seriously.

  1. Are you legally married?

    What I’ve learned in my 20s is that you must be specific with these men. They eat fruitloopholes for breakfast. Unhappily married is married. Separated is married. Staying in it for the kids is married. A whole wife is a wife. 
  2. Have you ever been married?
    There’s nothing wrong with dating a divorcée, but you want to know what you’re getting into.
  3. Have you ever been engaged to be married?
    Again, you want to know what you’re signing up for. You’re going to be mad if you find out that engagement ring is a hand-me-down.
  4. Do you have a girlfriend?
    I hate that you must ask these questions in 2017, but you do sis. Men create secondary and tertiary Facebook accounts for Tinder every day, B.
  5. Are you currently involved in any situationships?
    You must think I’m playing about these loopholes. So, he may not have a girlfriend, but is there another woman out here being his lover and secretary working every day of the week. Don’t act like you’ve never been in a situationship. You know how intense these things get.
  6. Do you have children?
    Dating a man with kids is a lot. Some can handle it, and some can’t. Not even on a step mother tip. This is on a Am-I-ok-with-a-smaller-portion-of-his-time-and-resources tip? If you are, more power to you!
  7. What role do you have in your children’s life?
    This is about character. He’s either an active and present parent, or he ain’t shit.
  8. What relationship do you have with your child/children’s mothers?
    You’ve watched enough Tyler Perry films. You don’t want that kind of drama in your life.
  9. Where do you live in relation to your mother?
    We’re looking for a preposition and/or adverb here. Does he live with her? Does she live with him? (We’ve all met a “My mama lives with me.” before. But how are you in the converted garage?) Is she upstairs? Is she downstairs? Is she next door? If he’s a caregiver for his mother, you’re an asshole.
  10. What does your W-2 say?
    We rebuke links to Soundcloud mixtapes and turning $100 into $500 in the name of Jesus.
  11. Did you vote for Hillary?
    If he’s a Republican or Independent, 2016 wasn’t the year to vote for anyone but Hillary. If he’s unimpressed by either major party candidate, 2016 wasn’t the year to vote for anyone but Hillary. You’re either for the end of the world or you’re not. If he didn’t vote at all, throw the whole man away.
  12. Do you like Beyoncé?
    He doesn’t need to be a part of the Hive, but you don’t deserve that kind of negative energy in your life. At minimum, does he at least respect the hardest-working woman in music, snatcher of all wigs, and mother of Blue, Sir and Rumi?
  13. What are your thoughts on Dr. Umar Johnson?
    Include Tariq Nasheed, B.o.B and Dr. Boyce Watkins while you’re at it. If he’s a hotep, he can dwell the flat earth in his Made in Thailand dashikis by himself. EYE don’t have time for pan-Africanism riddled with half-baked philosophies and conspiracies, and the further marginalization of women and the LGBTQ community.
  14. What’s the last thing you read?
    Is reading good *Waka Flacka Voice* for this young man? It’s up to you if counts.
  15. Use three words to describe your favorite animal.
    Yeah, he’s fine, but does he know adjectives?
  16. What keeps you up at night?
    Memes keep us all up at night, but what about his dreams and fears? What drives him

When to ask all these questions? You decide. You know how things are going, and what you’re looking for. Remember: you’re grown.

What other grown woman questions do you have for potential suitors? Comment below!

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