Self Care is the Best

I’m pretty sure that we here the words self care quite often but I wonder do we as black
women actually practice it. We deal with a lot of things on a daily basis whether is work,
school, relationship, finances, and life in general. In the midst of dealing with all that, we
often forget to take care ourselves and that can be unhealthy. I know first hand because
now at the age of 29, I’m having to repair a lot of things that I chose not to deal with in
the past.

Growing up and being the youngest child, I was always seen as the stable one mostly
because I didn’t complain and mostly kept to myself. I never had any health issues or any
significant life changes so my parents always assumed I was fine. As I grew up, that
overall feeling began to manifest into every aspect of my life. If I was ever upset about
something or had concerns, I kept it to myself because I felt like my problems or
concerns were small in comparison to what other people were going through. Pretty soon
I was starting to internalize everything while I became an emotional crutch for everyone
else.

It wasn’t until 2 years ago that I noticed that I really needed to speak to someone or seek
additional help. I was starting to get anxious at all the wrong times and every time I got
emotional about something, I always made sure to do it in private because once again, my
problems were small. It wasn’t until I had my first panic attack in January that I realized
that I need to take charge of my mental health. I began researching therapists and was
able to find a black woman who specialized in anxiety treatment.

I can’t lie, I was nervous at my first session but it didn’t take long for her to unpack
everything that I had been going through and to pin point the exact problems. For the first
time in many years, I felt that the burden of everyone else’s problems was being lifted
and I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Little by little, I learned to start taking time out
for myself and to tune out what everyone else was doing. I had to start thinking about me.
I think we as black woman are raised with this idea that we are invincible and can come
to everyone’s rescue and the truth is, we get weary too. Day in and day out we bare the
brunt of life and continue on like nothing is wrong. It’s not right but sometimes that’s just
how it works out.

Growing up, I never thought I would be someone who experience anxiety issues or
having a problem with mental health but its real and something that needs to be
addressed. Black women, we aren’t made of steel and we feel pain so if you ever get to
point were you have an emotional breakdown and you are about to lose it, take a step
back and see whether or not you need to speak to someone. There is nothing shameful
about therapy or receiving help and we have to get rid that stigma within the black
community. We can’t save the world if we don’t take care ourselves first.