I Need To Take My Own Advice
I’m always talking about the importance of self care and putting yourself first because mental heath should be your top priority. Normally, I would take the same advice that I give, but lately, I have abandoned all proper self care routines. For those of you who follow us regularly and receive our weekly newsletters, then you know that I’ve recently purchased a home. Anyone who has been through the home buying process knows how up and down it can be. One day, everything is great and then suddenly, the seller decides to back out at the last minute (this was my story).
Everything is up in the air until closing day which can lead to large amounts of stress. I made a crucial mistake in not seeing my therapist during this entire process. In my mind, I figured if I could get through this without having a panic attack or breaking down, I could come back and show her how I was putting her advice to use. That was a huge mistake.
I think what sent me down the rabbit hole was that from March to June, the only thing I was concerned about was getting out of my apartment lease and finding a home. By focusing on this one task and juggling work, I didn’t have time to worry about anxiety or feeling panicked. I was occupied with this one thing and since I didn’t feel anxious about anything else, I kept pushing it. Eventually, I was skipping out on the gym, going to bed at irregular hours, and turning down all possible vacation options. In my mind, all my money needed to go towards this home so self indulgences weren’t allowed. I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself properly, but I figured I could fix it once I closed on this house. Again, don’t ever do this.
I closed on my house almost 3 weeks ago and now I’m in a space where I just need a break. I feel like I've been on a never ending hamster wheel and I don’t know how to get off. I’m tired most days but I don’t know how to stop because with a new home comes new responsibilities. Who has time to rest? When I was able to see my therapist, I kept apologizing for abandoning my sessions and not taking better care of myself during this process. She simply said, “it’s ok, you’re here now so let’s figure out how to get you back on track.”
These deep dives down the rabbit hole aren’t new. Every time I accomplish something big, I feel the need to keep moving out of fear of becoming complacent. My brain is wired that these accomplishments aren’t enough and that I need to keep reaching higher. My therapist instructed me to stop and smell the roses every time I started to sense that feeling rising up. She also encouraged me to join a yoga class, which will do wonders for me. You ever hear the old folks say “Get somewhere and sit down”? Well, I am that person that needs to sit down some where.
Never ignore your mental health. I beg you because you end up spending more trying to unravel all of the progress you made. We aren’t invincible and this mindset of having to earn our self care needs to die. Even if it’s just a weekend getaway, I’m taking some time off. Not because I earned it, but because I truly deserve it.