#MeToo? Sure, If I'm White
I’ve agonized over writing this post simply because I did not want it to be the same shit on a different day. And I’m sincerely sorry if I offend anyone, and TRIGGER WARNING, we’re going to talk about sexual assault, so please exit if you need to….
When the whole situation with Harvey Weinstein first broke in Hollywood, I found myself reading the stories in horror but generally feeling apathetic afterwards. Don’t get me wrong. The man is absolutely horrible and he needs to die slowly and be buried underneath the jail house to be forever pissed on by all the inmates on Death Row getting their one hour of sunshine. I also felt terrible for all of the women that he had terrorized and assaulted. However, I’m not going to lie, I didn’t feel much more than that. I read the stories, said “damn, that’s messed up,” and kept it moving. I didn’t tweet #MeToo, and I certainly didn’t join the “Rose Army” (don’t even get me started on that bullshit). For the longest, I couldn’t figure out why. So I asked several of my black female friends about it, and some expressed similar feelings. There was one general conclusion: This was nothing new for us.
As black women, we have been telling folks for years that we have been sexually harassed and assaulted, and it seems as if no one has ever cared. The only people who DO care are other black women who have probably also been through the same experience. We believe each other, and that’s all we can ask for. Furthermore, it’s hard to feel included in a “movement” that clearly separates white women from “the others.” Who could forget Rose’s supposedly high as a kite tweet about how the word ‘woman’ is equivalent to ‘nigger’? As time went on, I noticed how the majority of people that came out with stories about Weinstein were overwhelmingly white women. Where were the women of color? Where were the black women? I know it couldn’t just be that Harvey had a type? Honestly, anything that a man will try against a white woman, they’ve already perfected it by using it against a woman of color. And that’s just facts. Fight me. So, where were Harvey’s “other” victims? And then the story about Lupita came out.
I applauded Lupita for speaking out, just like I applauded all of the other victims, but I secretly hoped that other women of color would gain courage from it. Because let’s be honest, it’s one thing to see a white woman do something, but an entirely different thing to see a black woman do it. Once again, just facts. So I hoped that this would open the flood gates for other women of color to come out and share their story. But this was ruined when Harvey, whose mouth had been firmly shut since the first story leaked, decided to say “I remember things differently.” So out of all the women that come forward to say that you are a trash ass human being, you remember things differently with the only black woman? Ok. And just like that, Lupita’s story was buried in the back pages of the magazine, and everybody moved on.
So what’s the point of a black woman speaking out if no one will ever believe her? Or when she does speak out, her attacker will call her a liar or even blame it on her. What’s the point? Look at this situation with Lena Dumbass Dunham and Aurora Perrineau. Aurora filed a police report against a writer from Girls for rape, and what does Lena do? Get another one of her white female friends to write a paper about how 3% of rape claims are false and she has inside information that tells her that Aurora is lying. This is less than a month after she stated that all women should be believed. So what changed between then and now Lena? What’s different from those previous situations and this one with Aurora? I’ll give you three guesses and the last two don’t count.
If you want to know why there haven’t been any black women who have come forward to say that they were assaulted in Hollywood, then just know that they are out there. They just haven’t said anything because what’s the point? It’s not like the commoners are going to rally the flag around the violation of her body or her personal space. They’ll say “we should believe all women” when they really mean “we should believe white women.” Obviously, if you’re on this website then you probably already knew that. Why? Because all black women have been there. Honestly, I can’t name one black female friend in my life that doesn’t have a story about being assaulted or harassed, myself included. Black women will probably be the only ones to believe and defend other black women. Why? Because we’re the only ones who care about black women. And ain’t that just some bullshit?